Today I hosted (co-hosted) my first baby shower. More on that tomorrow. People kept asking me why I was willing to host, since I have two very little boys. But that is exactly why I wanted to do it. I love my boys, and every minute (well almost every minute) I get to spend with them this year, as I stay home. However occasionally, I need to use the left side of my brain, I need to think, I need to create. My days are spent with poop, park visits, tantrums, snack time, nap time battles, and translating toddler language (so cute!). There are days I miss doing things that I used to do all the time. Exploring, creating, and being with my friends. Yes, I know I’m an adult…I’m almost thirty (urgh!), I have to be responsible. But, every adult deserves to do things that brings them joy…yep, even moms! So, even though it was hard work preparing for the shower I got to EXPLORE pinterest, CREATE beautiful decorations and yummy food, and be with my FRIENDS.
However, the day was fleeting. It was over within hours. The decorations came down, the food was eaten and my friends drove off to there distant homes. I love my boys and my husband sooooo much and I would never change the life I have now. But there are days I think to myself how a week in Hawaii alone would be glorious, or a weekend with my college roommates would be wonderful or a few hours by myself in a coffee shop would be refreshing. But in this current stage of life it doesn’t seem realistic. And that is fine. Yes, I would love an escape. But I chose this life and I choose my boys.
When I find myself whining I remind myself that I also had a stage of my life where I got to do all those things. I got to EXPLORE in my travels, I got to CREATE different craft and art projects in my studio apartment whenever I wanted, and I got to live with my FRIENDS in an old house for two years. I am so grateful for my experiences of living alone, flying to distant countries, and living somewhat far away from my parents (I love you mom and dad, but it was good for me). It’s kind of like when Benjamin eats a cookie and asks for another and we have to say “no.” His instinct is to whine, but then we say, “you already had one.” He continues to whine. And we say “it’s in your belly, wasn’t it so good?” He gets a look of, “oh, I guess your right.” You know he still wants another one, but at least he got to enjoy the first one. My early twenties were delicious like that cookie, so I can’t complain too much when there just isn’t time to have another one. I’m not saying these days aren’t delicious, but realistically, they are hard. Beautifully hard. Like a cookie you get to eat after running a marathon. Yes, I know that is a strange analogy, but like I said, I find myself thinking like a toddler these days.
As a run my marathon I find things like hosting baby showers, photographing my friends, Christmas shopping in U-village with my mom and sister, and trying out pinterest projects to keep me sane. Yes, they aren’t Italy or quiet mornings in Starbucks or spur of the moment hikes. But I did that. And I am glad. I am grateful for those memories. And now I am grateful for my husband. my boys. and my new (challenging) role as a mother.
I am grateful for the memories, but the photos are also great reminders.
Driving to Kelso, WA in frigid November just to high five Dwight Schrute was pretty fantastic.
Overlooking Salzburg, Austria, Sound of Music land. I had dreams of moving there.
Summer hike at Mt. Rainier.
Spinning on the teacups in Disneyland…my happy place, as long as we don’t spin too fast.
A selfie of me (before selfie was a word) overlooking Florence, Italy. I was so proud of myself when I went for a walk by myself while my friends waited in line at a museum. I was alone in a foreign country…at age 25 it blew my mind.
A Bellingham wedding with beautiful roommates (minus one, she was the bride). And my college, Western Washington University in the background.